Forgiveness Is Not Saying It Didn't Hurt
"And be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you."
Ephesians 4:32 (WEB)
There are some verses in Scripture that sound simple until life happens.
Forgive one another.
It is easy to agree with those words when the offense is small. It is much harder when the wounds run deep. When trust was broken. When someone walked away. When you were left carrying burdens that were never meant to be yours.
I think many of us struggle with forgiveness because we confuse it with approval.
Forgiveness is not saying what happened was acceptable.
It is not pretending the hurt did not matter.
It is not reopening doors God may have closed.
Forgiveness is releasing our right to carry the offense forever.
For a long time, I thought forgiveness would feel like a single decision. Something I would do once and then never think about again. Instead, I have found that forgiveness is often a journey. Sometimes it is a choice we make over and over as old memories resurface and old wounds ache in unexpected places.
People leave.
People disappoint us.
Some never apologize.
Some never even acknowledge the pain they caused.
Yet holding on to bitterness does not heal the wound. It only asks us to carry the weight longer than necessary.
God never asks us to forgive because the other person deserves it.
He asks us to forgive because He knows what unforgiveness does to the heart.
It hardens what He wants to heal.
It keeps us tied to moments He wants to redeem.
It steals peace from the very people He longs to comfort.
The older I get, the more I realize forgiveness is not about setting someone else free.
It is about allowing God to set me free.
Free from replaying the story.
Free from waiting for justice that may never come in this life.
Free from believing my future must remain connected to someone else's choices.
Forgiveness does not erase wisdom.
It does not eliminate boundaries.
It does not require trust where trust has been broken.
But it does make room for peace.
Today, if there is someone who comes to mind when you think about forgiveness, do not pressure yourself to have perfect feelings. Simply bring the hurt to God.
Tell Him the truth.
He already knows.
Then ask Him for the grace to loosen your grip on what He never intended you to carry forever.
Forgiveness is rarely easy.
But freedom is worth it.
Blessings and peace to you,
Amy
Prayer
Father, You know every wound, every disappointment, and every hurt I still carry. Help me forgive as You have forgiven me. Give me wisdom where boundaries are needed and grace where healing is needed. Release my heart from bitterness and fill it with Your peace. Teach me to trust You with justice and to walk forward in freedom. In Jesus' name, amen.